Different place, different space

So... I have a 50-miler coming up. 

YES! A 50-miler. I thought that it sounded like a good idea this early in the season to get some good miles under me heading into summer.

But here's the thing, it's got REALLY tight cutoffs. To put it into perspective, I just checked the entrants' list and it looks like 64 people to registered this year for the 50-miler. 30 finished last year (not sure how many started, but guessing about the same). Here's another thing to put things in perspective, I ran a really strong (for me) 23-miler the other week on similar terrain. I finished with a 13:38 pace and, when I did the calculations, even that wasn't fast enough to get me to the 1/2 way turnaround on time. I would need closer to a 13:00 min pace. YIKES!!!

Me, feeling really good training!

When I made this realization about 4 weeks ago, I was sad. Then, part of me was like, "PHEW! I guess I have a legit reason not to run 50 miles." And then I went through the gamut of emotions. Do I drop down to the 25-mile distance? Do I sign up for a different 50-miler, and do that one instead? I looked at another 50-miler that is the week after with a 14-hour cut-off. I asked Ross if I should sign up for the other race instead and he said, "Why don't you just go out for the original 50 and see what you can do?"

So, with that, I had my answer. And it scares me. "Old Randi," as I sometimes call her, would have dropped down to the 25-mile distance in a heartbeat. "I can't FAIL," she would have thought. No, no, no. It might've crushed me. But this Randi, the one who is up for the adventure, is gonna put it out on the line this weekend.

Who'd of thought Clooney could be so wise?

At the end of the day, you are what you put into it. And what attracts me to these races and goals is usually the unknown of if I will make it. Generally, I like to pick things that are hard, but attainable, and hopefully, that will be the case here. Then, when googling the above quote, I found this one... And it seemed even more applicable.

I'm committed to Leadville this year, and if pushing myself this Saturday is gonna make me stronger for that, then that is what I will do.

Will I make it? Who knows. Probably not. But then again, I will never know until I try.
And I am ok with that. Whatever this brings, I will learn loads from it.

Stay tuned to find out what that is... for I am sure I am going to have to work it out here. :) 

Vision Board ----> Journey Board

No secret here: I'm VERY visually motivated!!! In the past, I have always been a fan of some sort of vision board and/or visual motivation when training for a big event.

Vision board I created for Ironman Coer D'Alene 2012

A "countdown" poster I made in prep for IM Wisconsin 2015

Countdown Board + "Journey Pictures" for Leadville 2017

This year, I haven't set down the time to really go at it and figure out where I am going/how to get there -- visually, at least!

So, shortly after making the realization that some things needed to change and I needed to get back to what got me places in the past, I sat down to start to CREATE. And, as those of you who know me know, CREATING is my happy place. Like, in everything.


So, I started...

And I got this far...

Before this happened.

Yes, that is me in urgent care on a Sunday night. They are repairing my finger, of which I had sliced a chunk of skin clear off (thank you, super sharp exacto knife!) while I started my Vision Board. 

Side note: I am not saying that slicing my finger has ANYTHING to do with my training, but when you look at my training this year, this is EXACTLY how it has gone. I try to do something positive for my training, and something horrible comes in my way. I could give you a half-dozen more examples of how things have not panned out thus far, but I am NOT going to dwell on those, only move forward positively. 

Anyways, back to my vision board... it got sidelined first because of the injury. Then, every time I would step back to doing it, I struggled a bit to make myself I glue anything down. And, while I know what I want to see, I really had to think about everything... and what I realized is that I kind of want the experience to guide me this time.

So here is where I stand: I have this BIG piece of paper. And I am EXCITED to fill it. But, I don't want to necessarily fill it now. I want to fill it with all the benefits and experiences of training. I know where I am going (Leadville 100, duh), and the areas I  need to focus on, and the areas and things I am excited about doing... so as I work my way there, I plan to fill the paper. (As you can see, I've already started to fill it with parts of my training thus far - along with notes on what I am looking forward to as I prep for the race.)

Essentially, my "VISION BOARD" has changed once again, and is no longer a vision board, but a JOURNEY BOARD.

I've started on my way, and I can't wait for the journey!!!

Besties Who Don't Run

I have been blessed to have found some really good running peeps along all of my different journeys and super excited to also have these non-running peeps along on this one.

WHAT??? Non-running peeps. In for a 100-miler. What?!?!?

But, yes, I have found a little clan that is 100% SUPPORTIVE of my running endeavors even though, NO ONE in the group is really into endurance running. In fact I might go as far as to say they think it is cool -- while the rest of the world looks at me like I'm CRA-ZY!

Us mountain biking at a dude ranch last September!

Anyways, I have been less than open about the fact that I am training, mostly because people treat you like you are a little wacko, or like all I will want to talk about is my 100 (which it isn't), or whatever. I am not really sure why. But anyways, I haven't always had the best response from people when I mention training for some crazy race, especially with people who are not into endurance sports... And, let's be honest, I didn't want to turn these friends off because, well, they are all really cool and I like them. But for whatever reason, that has not been the case with this group of friends.

They know my crazies and still like to hang out with me - who would've guessed it?

One instance when it came out, my friend's husband (who is also my friend) asked immediately if I needed crew. And, I was like, "do you want to run with me?"... because I have had people excited to want to pace, but never to crew. And he was like, "whatever you need, but I just think it would be cool to be there, to support you and help you through whatever you need."

Another time it came out at a wine tasting, and IMMEDIATELY some of my friends wanted to be there. Like really there. When I told them how boring and anti-climatic observing a 100-miler can be (out of the 30 hours I am out there, you are seeing me for about 10 total minutes... and that is if I am having a good race). But, that did not seem to matter. Not at all. So... I guess they're coming to Leadville. Yay!

On top of the emotional support that they are giving, they are also pretty RAD at wanting to do other fun, active stuff. 

So, this past Saturday, we tackled the Manitou Incline. 
AND, since I consider this part of my training and, thus, part of my Leadville Journey, I was more excited to do it and do it with them!!!

Basically, the incline is a staircase up a mountain made out of railroad ties and it is HARD!

The incline itself is 1 mile long and about 2,000 feet vertical. 

Looking down, it can look like this.

The group of us at the beginning...

Starting off...

Heather, Connie, Nicole and I about halfway and still smiling

Heather... still smiling!

Yay! I made it!

But, I wouldn't have done it without all these biotches!

ANYWAYS, it means A TON to me to have these ladies in my life. While I absolutely adore my running friends, I have never had friends who don't run, who also "get me" and want to be there for the running part of my life. It's amazing, and fun, and irreplaceable.

This is going to be the best Leadville YET!!!

OUT of my comfort zone

So... I wrote a big long blog post, but it was wordy. Here is what it comes down to:

I am a little TOTALLY freaked out about the fact that I signed up for a 50-Miler in 2 weeks time, and I don't think I'll make it (short cutoff times I didn't realize when signing up). Needless to say, I am trying my best to do my best training to make it as far as I can in said race. Last weekend was the last long weekend before said 50-miler.

What makes good training for me? For me it is trying to "hit my goals" which I usually do best when I have thought out where I am running, course, etc. It's a mental thing. And since running is 90% mental, well...

BUT... training is supposed to be about enjoying the journey WHILE working towards my goal. And, probably more importantly, growing as a runner and a person while I do it.

So last weekend I totally 180'd. Like completely. Instead of having a clear plan with the factors under my control, I opted to go for a long run with my coach and some of her running peeps.

So, what made me do this? Basically, this:

WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO:
I am a mental case that has grown to be most comfortable knowing what I am getting myself into before committing. For me, that includes a ton of route planning.

Everything about this run scared me. 

THIS RUN I KNEW NOTHING.
- No idea where I was going
- How long I was going (I was told ~25, which was my goal)
- What kind of terrain I was running (hills? flat? climbing? I had no clue.)
- Who I was running with (were they faster? Slower? Would they be annoyed with me joining? Would I slow them down? Would they be annoyed with me slowing them down? Etc.)
The only real question I made sure was answered was that we would be able to refill water at some point. Other than that, I was trying to be easy, peesy.

Regardless, last Saturday morning, in questionable weather, I packed up my water pack, put on my big girl panties, and drove up to Boulder for a running adventure. One that was WAY OUT of my comfort zone.

I'm not going to lie, it was hard for me. But, one mantra that I have when I am scared of something that I *should* be able to do -- fake it till you make it. 

So, I did.  I went, I ran, I tried my best to keep up with the group, not slow anyone down, be chipper and fun (despite my worries that I would bonk). And, don't get me wrong, I had a great time. The people were amazing and nice, the terrain was ABSOLUTELY gorgeous. (I don't run much in Boulder, so it was a treat for me!)

 It wasn't till mile 18 when, after I felt like we should be going down and we just kept climbing, climbing, climbing that I kinda lost it.  I asked if we had "8 miles or less left" - just so I could mentally prepare myself - and there was a big, long pregnant pause (which I took to mean, "OH heck no! We've got WAY more than that!"). So, that was playing in my mind and about 1/2 mile later, Cindy asked how I was doing, and I burst out in tears. Yep. Turns out I am not so good at faking it till I make it. I had about 15 seconds of tears and let the girls know that what was going on in my head. They were totally supportive and assured me that I was doing good, not slowing them down (LIES!), and figured out how much farther we really had, so I could then mentally plan for the end. Which was really all I needed. And, then we continued on, and I had a big weight lifted that (1) I could do this and (2) they were there for me.

Turns out, I am not good at faking it till I make it, but in the end, it is what got me out there and 75% of the way through my run.

LESSONS LEARNED:
- I CAN do hard things that have a lot of unknowns. And I shouldn't shy away from them in the future. It will only make me stronger.

- Sometimes I need to lean a little (not a lot) on those around me. Or maybe just ask for what I need without worrying if I will come off as needy.

In my attempt not to slow them all down (which I totally was), I didn't take too many pictures. So... here is what I got.

BTW, this story did not surprise my running BFF, bc he knows me so well. He totally saw this all coming and burst out laughing when I recounted it for him this week.