Committed

So, I think it is obvious that I haven't blogged in awhile. Most would think it was because I wasn't up to much. Those who know me know THAT isn't ever true. I have a hard time taking a break, and, even when I do, my "down" time is filled with more things than the average person's busy season. Sometimes, I think I just don't know how to sit still. And that has grown even more as life goes on.

When Ross asked me about blogging earlier this year, my response was this; "I don't know if I really ENJOY blogging when I am doing it as much as I enjoy looking back over it, reading and remembering it." Blogging helps me capture the details that fade away in your memory unless written. Kind of how photos are. I don't particularly like taking photos as much as I appreciate them when I look back at them.

But, this blog is meant to be about my training and experiences and I have questioned continuing it for the past 6 or so months. I even have a few posts written in rough drafts that I never published. Cuz as I got busier, I asked myself where was most important to spend my time, and my heart said it wasn't in blogging.

It was in this :

Hanging with the boys at THEIR swim meets and races!

and this:

Playing QB for my favorite receivers

 and this:

Fun with me mateys!

and this:

Family fun and vacations to remember...

But, again, I just can't seem to stay away from training. I don't know if it is the goal-setting, the endorphin high I crave, or what, but I can only go so long without training for SOMETHING.
So I trained for and ran the Dallas Marathon this December (yay me!). It was tough, hard and fun all at the same time. But, I lived in the moment and, get this, didn't even take any pictures of the event or after.

Ran the Dallas Marathon and here is the closest I got to a picture of the event!
(It was down the street from the expo.)

When I got back to training again in January, I felt a tad bit guilty, like I was taking tons of time away from the family. That was until... Ross (super-husband) actually told me he preferred it when I was training. Like I was naturally happier, which I guess translated into a better wife (and hopefully a better mother, person, friend).

And so I have been at it. Swimming. Biking. Running. (And actually strength training, too!) And, because it is so early in the season, no real races. No marathons. No far, away (warm) tris. Nothing. And... I have been feeling a bit slow and unaccomplished. {Insert pity party here.}

This is when good talks with good friends come in REAL handy. See, I am lucky enough to have a few of those. So, I chatted with my friend Heather who told me I really needed to ask/remind myself "why you are doing this". What was my goal? My answer to her was "to get faster", and she was like "really?". So I thought and thought and thought about it.

See, my goal this year is to "race" a 70.3 and see how fast I can go. I have "done" 70.3's in the past in training for IM, but never really raced one. I wanted a new goal, something to get me motivated, and this seemed to fit the bill. See what training for racing a 70.3 was like.  May not sound awesome to many, but it did to me.

So, WHY? Why was I doing all this?
And, it kind of goes back to the whole blog thing.

That is when I felt it. If I am going to be successful at my goals this year, I needed to blog about this. I needed to remember WHY I was training. WHY I have set these goals this season. And WHY I need to stick to them. And the answer I have come to is it's because I am committed. I am committed to friends, coaches, etc. But mostly, I am committed to myself. To setting a goal and fulfilling it. It's something I set out to do and I want to see it to its end. I don't want to step down, lessen the training, go easier when I am tired because... that would be letting ME down. My desires and why I started this. Sure, its been hard, and not as fluent as I would like but, aren't the best things in life the things worth working for?

So, COMMITTED. That is my new thought/mantra/whatever you want to call it. I am committed to the season. To seeing where it brings me. COMMITTED to the training plan. COMMITTED to trying my best in the pool every Tues/Thurs morning. COMMITTED to maintaining my strength training. COMMITTED to a bunch of smaller goals that will help me reach my end goal. And, in the end, I am COMMITTED to racing the fastest 70.3 I can in July and being 100% happy with the results - whatever they yield - because I want no regrets at the start, or the finish, line!