Learning to climb

I have to admit, the best part of being in Colorado is the mountains.
They are pretty and fun to play in and to ski in. What they aren't fun to do in is train in. (Well, not at first, anyways.)

So, last year, we pretty much avoided them.
We had plenty of excuses NOT to ride our bikes up in them.
- We didn't know any good routes.
- Cars/road riding scared us.
- In general, we were worried about doing the amount of mileage we were training and we didn't want to make it harder than it needed to.
- Mountains were steep. And hard. And that altitude. Geesh!

I know, I am a wimp.

Anyways, I guess there are no more excuses this year. I see on my schedule that we are supposed to ride up Deer Creek Canyon-- TWICE. The first time I rode that was last week and, I will admit, there was some swearing involved. Now, to ride it two times in a row-- Eeek! Granted, it is only 18 miles of climbing, but that is 9 more miles than I have ever done.

So I try not to think about it too much and just treat it like any old workout.

Starting off, I lead because Ross has a tendency to go out too fast and I want to set the pace. This works, and helps. But, for some reason, the first 5 miles are unbelievably hard for me. Not because the terrain is that difficult, but Steve (my coach) thinks it may have more to do with anxiety and I hope that as I get more used to this, this goes away. Here's hoping.

Miles 5-7.5 are not too bad for me. I have settled into a groove and am working on my climbing skills. At mile 7.5 there is a sign and I know that sign all too well. The first time I rode DC with Ross he told me that the top was only a half mile away. He was wrong, and I paid for it.

This time I know that I still have a 1.5 miles to go of probably the worst part of the trip and I try to take it in stride. It doesn't really work. At 8.25 I tell Ross that I don't think I can make it. So, he tells me we can stop for a break, but we should go to the top. So we stop.
Here is where we came from.
And here is where we have to go.

After we rest, I conquer the last three-quarter mile no problem. Yay! We are at the top. 58:11 it takes us (not counting rest). Now, the fun part. The downhill. It flies by. We make it down in 22 minutes.

Quick wardrobe change to stay dry and warm. Yes, if there is one thing I need, it is coordinating biking clothes. And now to do it all again.

Second time, not so bad. I figure, if I am going to go this slow, I should take some pictures. It IS beautiful after all...Over the shoulder shot... didn't really work.
Amazingly enough, we made it to the top for round two in 56 minutes! It's not so much that I am impressed with our time as the fact that we did it faster than the first time. And, with no stops! (Even though I desperately wanted to.) So, we were quite proud of ourselves.

I know that it is a long way from where we are going to be, but it is a start for us. I am hoping to look back at this blog and see how far we've come and how, even though it is a big deal for us now, it will be nothing for us in the future. And hopefully, that day will be sooner than we think!

Totals

I don't know if it is the weather, the nagging cold I had, all the miles indoors (treadmills and trainers), or just the amount of miles in general, but, while it is all going good, I am feeling extra slooooow and less than snappy.

I have been told by others who have gone through the same big base building phase to expect that. To expect my speed to drop and to feel like it is a bit of setback, and that one day it will just 'click'. So, that has eased the frustration with the speed a little. Lately though, I have found myself getting antsy, waiting for my 'click' to happen.

But, here's what helped. I was talking to my friend Sonja the other day (triathlete superstar). She pointed out that I was focusing on the wrong thing (speed) when I shouldn't be. Side note: Everyone needs a cheerleader, and she is often mine. Thanks, SON!

Anyways, what she suggested was tabulating my totals of how much I was doing. Total mileage. After all, that is what base building is about: distance, not speed. (There is a reason it is called LSD ~ long, SLOW distance.)

So, here it is, my totals from the last few months.

Disclaimer: Some distances are guesstimated b/c I sometimes train on time. Ie: ride 3 hours, swim 45 minutes, etc. but I erred on the side of shorter than longer.

October
Swim: 22,300 yards (12.7 miles)
Bike: 220 miles
Run: 107 miles

November
Swim: 23,700 yards (13.5 miles)
Bike: 158 miles
Run: 105 miles

December
Swim: 25,000 yards (14.2 miles)
Bike: 220 miles
Run: 125 miles

TOTALS: for Oct-Dec
Swim: 71,000 yards (40.34 miles)
Bike: 598 miles
Run: 337 miles

Put that way, I'm not feeling so bad about myself.

Not to mention, I have done my LONGEST swim (4900 yds), LONGEST ride (78.25 miles) and LONGEST run (27 miles) EVER last month. Although, I know it will only get longer.

Here's to more happy (and hopefully faster) miles!

A beautiful day for a 5 hour ride...

Yes, that's right, I look on my schedule and see: 3-5 hour ride, lsd.

At first I am not sure if that means 3 hours on the trainer OR 5 hours outside. OR if it meant I get to choose how long I ride between 3-5 hours. Either way, I am riding 5 hours.

So, I do the math. 5 hour ride @ ~ 15 mph = around 75 mile ride. Making this my longest ride since... well... Ever. Hmm?

Another dirty secret about me: I don't know where to ride around Denver. When we first started biking, Ross and I bought a map and tried to do some experimenting with routes. Every time we tried, it ended horribly. For the sake of our marriage, we decided to stick only to routes we knew or were shown. That left us with A LOT of riding this summer on the Cherry Creek Trail. I now know that trail like the back of my hand. Think you can't do 70 miles utilizing the CCT? Think again.

When I talked with my coach last, here is what he said: "No speed. Work on increasing your cadence. It's lsd (long slow distance), so it is not about the miles, just the time on the bike. Look around, enjoy it."

So, with that in mind, I talked to a friend and got a new route to try heading east out of Denver, looking for new sites to see. And here's what I saw:
Lots and lots of land. At first it was very mind-numbing and I was thinking "I came out here for this?".

But as I rode along, it turned more methodical, beautiful, simple. It was nice to be away from the city. Out on the plains. I just let my mind go.

It was also fun to come upon some small towns. And I mean small. Here is how you know when you are in Bennett.That is about all there is there. Across the way from here are a few local businesses, but that is about it.

Leaving Bennett, you come upon a really neat tree grove. It was a definite shift from the farms I had been seeing and I just thought the trees here were way old and WAY cool. You don't really get a sense of it in this picture, but see those two cool trees in the foreground? Now imagine a valley of them behind them. I imagine it looks even better in the spring/summer. I guess I'll find out next year. :)

And then more cool things you can see only out in the open
So, I kept plugging along. At one point, I made a turn north (I believe) and the headwind picked up. I didn't mind this, as it meant a tailwind on the way back-- or so I thought.

I kept going and came upon Strasburg. Very cute, quaint town with decorations everywhere. I didn't get many pictures, but each of the little businesses was decorated from the general store to the gas station to the propane center(?).

It made me wonder what it was like to live in a small town. I mean, we bank here:
And, if we lived in Strasburg, we would bank here:Quite a difference.

Anyways, I kept plugging along. By this time, it was getting a little long, but I just told myself "only 'x' number of minutes till I can turn around."

And then I cam upon probably some of the coolest thing I saw on the ride, What, oh what, could this be? It looked like a ride from Disneyland, but realized it was part of an old mine shaft-- or so I think. Here's more track:And the entrance to the shaft:

And, I continue on... until my watch hits 2 hours 22 minutes and I decide it is time to turn around.

And WHAM! Headwind. Serious headwind. My speed immediately slows. And it stays slow for probably 10 miles. I look down at my Garmin and see how slow I am going. I do the math. If I continue at this pace, I will be out here for 7 hours. Ugh. I start to think of how to explain to Ross how to come and get me. Umm.... "Honey, go to this one place and take a highway east and follow it until you find me"??? That won't work. Especially cuz we can't fit my bike in the car he has. So, I continue.

Luckily, I turned a corner and TAILWIND! Relief. And so my pace gets better, and faster, and I think I can make it. By the time I hit Strasburg, I am confident I don't have to call Ross and I am happy.

Then I see it, in the distance:
The mountains. The one thing I love about riding out east is coming back and seeing the mountains. Biking towards them, I feel like I am going home. And I never get tired of seeing them, either. Maybe it will wear off after living out here for more time, but so far it hasn't. :)

So, I make my way back home. Tired, but happy, looking at the mountains.


There you have it. My longest ride ever. (So far.) Here's proof.
5 hours 15 minutes (ish). 78.25 miles.

What drinking and training have in common

Dehydration.

Seriously. As I write this, it is 3:38 in the morning and I can't sleep.

As I have gotten older, I started waking up in the wee hours of the morning unable to sleep. It took a bit of investigating, but I realized it happened EVERY Saturday early morning one fall when we were playing on a Friday night kickball league. It's not that I would go out and drink loads, but I would have a beer or two after (and during) the games. From that, I quickly realized that it had to do less with how much alcohol I drank and more with how much water I consumed in the process. IE, if I made sure to drink enough water-- even while having some beers-- the chances of sleeplessness greatly went down. Since, I have tried to limit the alcohol intake and up the water consumption. (Not always successfully, but I try...)

So, here I am, clean as a whistle. Haven't had a drop of alcohol all day and it is nearly 4:00 am and I can't sleep. So.... why?

It comes back to hydration. I went for quite a long ride today and didn't drink probably as much as I SHOULD have. Leaving me awake and dehydrated, not from alcohol, but from working out. I guess I learned my lesson. I need to focus on hydrating properly not only during, but AFTER hard workouts.

Here's another lesson about hydrating:
These things are great! They are tablets you drop in water and they dissolve to provide you with a flavored, carbonated water filled with electrolytes. They are mighty yummy on a run when you are depleted and need a boost. Plus, they are not sugary (like Gatorade) so it is a great alternative when you need your electrolytes, but feel over-sugared. I found them this summer via my friend Sonja.

Anyways, what I have also learned is that they are great for recovery. Both after a hard workout or after a glass (or bottle) of wine. They "flavor" your water with both taste and electrolytes, speeding your hydration and improving how you feel. It's awesome. So now I try to have some Nuun not only after a run, but after a night of drinking and it has proved to be most helpful. Think I should be a Nuun spokesperson?

So there is what I have learned about hydrating, dehydrating and recovery. Take it for what you will. I am going to go have some Nuun and get some sleep. :)

Running Roadrunner Style

Believe it or not, cartoons can teach you something about running.

Ross and I met with our coach to work on our running form (again). This is something I am all about ~ working on form. Since correct form = efficiency and efficiency = yielding a better end product with less work, I am all about improving my form. Not to mention the desire to be more efficient (read: do less work) was a primary motivator in having a coach. I can run and run and run, but that doesn't mean I am going to necessarily get any faster unless I change something.

So, we met today and went for a little jog. And along the way, he was reiterating a number of things that we had talked about before and some new things. For 2 hours straight it was running form 101 and practice... with the help of some inventive aids, but we will save those for a different post.

From what I have learned, with running, you use your power to get going, but after that, it is a matter of keeping the momentum going by pushing along the ground with your feet. Make sense? Maybe not (at least the way I am explaining it). But look at these pictures of runners:Notice what they all have in common? Their feet are not touching the ground. They are all just gliding through the air, using their feet to tap the ground and push them forward. Now there is the theory, here is the form part I learned.

Wile E. Coyote vs. Roadrunner

Ever wonder how that dang bird out runs the coyote EVERY time? Think about it. A roadrunner can run up to the speed of 17 mph while a coyote can run up to 30 mph. So why does the coyote never get the bird (other than for the storyline)? It lies in the form of how they run (or, at least, that is what I like to believe).


Here is roadrunner:
See that ellipse behind him? How the roadrunner has a lean forward and basically his feet are just pushing him along. That is what makes him go faster. (That, and the animation, of course.)

Now take a look at our friend the coyote:

Coyote is pretty straight up with some lean forward, but not barely the amount of the roadrunner. With Coyote's posture, his legs are more underneath him instead of behind him, like the roadrunner. He is not allowing his body to take him forward and, by being more straight up, he is stopping himself in a way.

Try it. Run. Now, while running, lean forward, you will automatically speed up.

So, that's what I have got to shoot for. That and a number of other things that I need to do to improve my form, but that was the one that I thought could illustrate best and the best "a-ha" moment I have for you right now.

Riding in Circles! Ok, ovals.

A couple months ago, Ross and I were invited to go up to a velodrome in Boulder. We kindly declined the invite citing that fact that Lincoln had his first soccer practice. First, we had no idea what a velodrome was, and the more research we did on it, the more scary and intimidating it sounded.

According to Wikipedia, A velodrome is an arena for track cycling. Modern velodromes feature steeply banked oval tracks, consisting of two 180-degree circular bends connected by two straights. The straights transition to the circular turn through a moderate easement curve. It looks something like this:
Although the velodrome in Bolder is smaller and STEEPER. It looks more like this:See that rider? He is approaching a curve and will be riding on a very slick wall that is banked at 45 degrees.

So, when we got to the track, I was more than a little intimidated and wondered exactly how I got here.

See, the one thing about me is that, given the opportunity, I will try to face my challenges head on. So when we were invited to come this time, we accepted. For me, I look upon my biking skills as a BIG weakness and I thought that this would be a safe environment and opportunity to work on that skill set.

Seeing the track and some of the experienced riders on the track, I began to doubt the safetiness of it all and if I would be able to do it. The riders were zipping around steep embankments and taking the curves with ease. I immediately felt out of my comfort zone, but decided to stay there and face the track head on.

At first I wanted to just jump in and give it a go, but I am so glad I didn't. Tim, the instructor, showed the newbies around the track and explained how it worked, what the various lines on the track meant, the angles of the track, how to stop (did I mention our bikes had no brakes?), how to enter/exit the track, etc. After, I was glad I got the information before just jumping on.

It was a lot to intake, so here is what I took away:
- If I went too slow, I would fall off.
- Beware of others around me.
- If I went too slow, I would fall off.
- If someone was passing me, don't veer laterally.
- If I went too slow, I would fall off.
- When in doubt, ACCELERATE!

And after being explained the basics, we were off.

For the first 2 minutes straight, I said over and over to myself "Accelerate in the curves. Accelerate in the curves. Accelerate...". I was convinced that if I did, I wouldn't fall off. And I didn't.

Secondly, I realized that the previous riders were so speedy on the track because if they WEREN'T speedy, they would've fallen off. So, I kept up my speed.

I just continued to ride the track, keep up my speed and worked on my bike handling on the track and especially in the corners. The corners were the steepest and the tightest. The further down the track you got, the harder they were. So I tried to go down to see how far I could get.

The next challenge, getting OFF the track. Exiting the track actually required slowing down to a speed where you were fast enough to stay on the track and then making an exit right before you were about to fall over (from riding on an angle slowly) and then continue riding on level ground until your bike slowed to a stop. Mind you, we had to do this without brakes and while we were being aware of those around us. Scary, but we got her done.

Here are some picts from the ride.Some riders warming up on the "straights" (14 degrees)


Riders taking the curves (45 degrees)

Along with simply riding on the track, (crazy-fun as it was once you got going), Tim also led the groups in various exercises to practice cornering, speed, and other bike handling essentials. I was really surprised how fast I caught on and how much I enjoyed it. To think, I was improving one of my weakest skill sets and enjoying myself at the same time! Just the thought of being able to ride on an 45-degree angle was enough to make my money worth it!

So, there you have it. One scared Randi. One crazy riding experience. One happy rider (and many others - pictured below!).

Denver Marathon: Base Building 101

I know I am a week late, but I ran the Denver Marathon last weekend. :) The day before, a friends told me to "try to win it". I laughed and said, "I'm going to try to finish it."

Going into this race, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. Since signing up in August, I had kept up with my running. So, I was prepared for the race (ie, could do the distance), but not really trained for it-- let alone prepared to do extremely well in it. To complicate things, we had hired our new coach and he had me running a 24 mile training run earlier in the week. (Generally you taper/rest-up prior to the race.) This confused me a it, but I rolled with it, thinking there must be some methodology in it.

As the race neared, I did get more excited about it. The expo was fun and I was going to be Trakked on the new Trakkers system. I went to dinner Friday night with a friend and we talked about the race. More talk and encouragement were given to me at a baby shower on Saturday. The morning of, we were up bright and early at 4:45 (actually, it was really dark at this time). We had a sitter arrive and Ross and I were off to downtown.
We took a disposable camera with us (more on poor camera quality later) and took a few shots and enjoyed the hubbub that surrounds the start. Our friend, Sonja, found us and helped us hop the fence (literally) into the corral and there we waited for the race to start, which is where this was taken.
The race was the race. I am sorry that I don't have more insight for you on that. The course was in a city that I know pretty well, so I wasn't enthralled by the scenery or the architecture. But it was flat, well supported and organized-- all signs of a good race. (It will be interesting to see how it is run next year when Rock'n Roll takes it over.)

At one point along the way, I was walking through a water stop with a guy who was obviously hurting, so I asked him if he needed anything. He said he didn't and went on to gripe about not training properly, his body, etc. I told him about my 24-mile run earlier in the week and he asked why I did it. I said "I dunno. My coach told me too." Then he asked "First marathon?". To which I replied "twelfth" and kept running. But it made me think more about my race and my training and why I was doing this. It obviously wasn't for a pr. I didn't need any more race t-shirts or medals. What was going through Steve's head when he had me train so hard earlier in the week? And I thought of the Ironman.

I finished the race strong. Slower than the start, but not in survival mode. Sonja was at the end smiling and waiting for me. She asked how I thought I did and I told her about my week and that I felt good that I could do that much mileage without compromising my body. She confirmed that this was probably Steve's way of building my base. A very, very wide base. Which is what I will need with my goals I have set out for myself for the next year.

Over all, pleased with my experience and my recovery, in particular. This race was an experience and it taught me many things, including that sometimes races aren't meant to be the prize, but the ticket to a bigger one. This next year, I am expecting to have a lot of races that aren't going to be pr's. They aren't going to be highlights. But they ARE going to prepare me to have one AWESOME Ironman!


OH! And I promised more on the picture quality of the camera. Here is another picture that came off of the camera:Recognize him? That's ROSS. With HAIR! Which means this camera is 9+ years old. No wonder the quality of the film was so horrible!

Happy Birthday to Me!

So... you know you are a tri-geek when you get totally excited about... a transition bag!

A transition bag is really nothing more than a gym bag with all sorts of compartments for your different gear. When I started this whole triathlon biz, I had no clue what I would need at races and I still don't. A bag like this allows you to stuff a lot of random things into a small space so that you can have basically everything you need when you are at a race. Above all, it helps to keep you organized. And I like to be organized. (Clean- not always. But organized- yes!)

To top things off, this is something I wanted, but never hinted at it. Didn't ask for it. Wasn't going to buy one. It was just something I had seen around and Ross picked up on the fact that I would like one, so that is what he got me. :)

Here I am with my awesome new bag:

(It even comes tricked out with a small fold-up chair attached to the side. Seriously, this bag has EVERYTHING.)

And here are some of the cute little tags to help me know where to put stuff.

I think the tags are more to show off the cool logos. Some may call it overkill because no matter how dense you are, I don't think you will be stuffing your bike helmet in the sunglasses compartment without their direction. And think I can figure out that my wetsuit goes in the waterproof area and all. Being graphically driven, I still like them.

Then Ross had me open another gift– I LOVE IT!

A simple charm on a necklace to remind me what we had accomplished in our first season.

With the Ironman logo on the other side to remind me what we were training for in the upcoming year. Perfect!

My husband is such a good guy and so in tune with what would make me happy, it is a wonderful thing. I hope that I do the same in return for him.

So... how did I spend my glorious birthday? Running 24 miles. My longest training run EVER. Then spending the afternoon "working" from the couch. Yep, that's the life I am leading this year. Some people felt sorry for me when they asked how I spent my day, but I loved it. It was totally me and what I want to be doing this year. Next year, I hope to be able to run 33 miles on my 33rd birthday. (I have a feeling like I might accomplish that well before the year is up, but we will see.)

5 Things I Am Willing To Do...

So, after the sign-up. Now we are in. We are REALLY in.

What to do next?

Good question, huh? And one I was sick of answering myself. I mean, this is only my, what, sixth month as a triathlete? And now I am training for an Ironman. Man, I need some help if I am going to survive this next year. Sure, we navigated our way through our first season successfully and all, but I won't lie: It. Was. Hard. And part of the hardest part was never knowing if you were doing it 'right' or wasting your time or what not. I need someone to tell me what to do.

So we hired a coach to tell us what to do.

Now, I know that I say that nonchalantly, but let me assure you, this was not an easy or light-hearted decision. Luckily for us, we live in such a fit climate that the problem wasn't finding a coach, it was finding the right coach for us. And there are so many coaches with so many philosophies, ways of training, different specialties, personalities, everything! Oy, boy! We interviewed 5 (yes, 5!) different coaches and all but one Ross and I really liked. Each interview was 2+ hours, so that's over 10 hours, just on that. Not to mention Ross and I talked for hours about the pros and cons of each coach and what we would get out of them, what we needed, would we consider separate coaches, etc. We contemplated second interviews, but realized we wouldn't really learn anymore than we needed to know. And, when it came down to it, we had to go with our guts, jump in and hope we made the right choice. So we did.

Back to the story:
In the process of signing up with our coach, he had us fill out a number of worksheets on out health, goals, strengths, weaknesses, etc. to help him better understand where we were coming from and to aid him in his job of coaching us. One of the questions that struck me was:
List 5 things you are willing to do to accomplish your goals.

Huh? 5 things? Aren't I just going to be swimming, biking, running a whole lot? Maybe throw in some weight training and core. Do you want me to define how far I am willing to swim? How much time I will devote to biking? Put numbers on it? What's the goal here? I know it struck Ross, too, because he asked me how I was going to answer it.

So I thought about it a bit and came up with these five:

1. Pay a coach.
2. Keep an open mind and do whatever is asked of me from said coach. (Which I am guessing involves running, biking and swimming further than I have ever before.)
3. Define conservative goals for our business for the upcoming year (ie maintain it, but not focus on growing it).
4. Give the majority of my time to training, learning, recovering, etc.
5. Basically anything you ask of us. You're the coach and if you think it will improve me as an athlete, I will try my hardest to do it.

This was kind of an eye-opener to me, as I realized that IM training was going to be much, much more than hours in a week of training. It is going to impede on every part of our life. It is going to be a commitment that extends much further than the soreness of our muscles. It is going to affect the pocketbook, how we spend our family time, the business, where we spend our vacations, everything.

But, you know what, I am ok with that. By defining and knowing what we are giving up, we are accepting it so that we won't be resentful of it when it does indeed happen. I am reaffirming my commitment to the sport and to my goal for this next year.

It IS scary, but exciting at the same time.

And so it begins...

The year of the Ironman. Well, actually it began 12 days ago. September 14, 2009. The day after the 2009 Wisconsin Ironman/the day we signed up for Ironman Wisconsin 2010. {Affectionately called: IMMOO. As in IM (Ironman) MOO (what a cow says)}

Anyways, here we are with our confirmation sheets.
Yes, dorks, I know, but it was a special moment for us. To actually, finally be in. "The dream" started about 6 years ago for us. We watched the Kona IM championships on t.v. and saw how incredibly cool, exciting and rewarding the experience could be. Ross said to me "If a 75-year old nun can do it, we can to do it." {Yes, there is a 75-year old nun who has finished over 33 IMs.} Anyways, I laughed and told Ross once he finished a marathon, I would start to take him seriously.

Side note: It's not that I don't believe in my husband, it's that he has a way of putting ideas in my head that I get really excited about, only to come and find out that he really doesn't have the interest or want to do the amount of work to get there. No biggie, I just didn't want that to be the case this time.

Anywhoo, in 2004 Ross ran his first half-marathon and in 2005 he completed the Milwaukee Lakefront Marathon. After the marathon, Ross turned to me and said "I am not going to run another marathon until we do our Ironman." OK, so I knew he was still into it and chances are we WERE going to do it. With one little on in the crib, I knew IM wasn't anytime in the immediate future, and we started talking about how we would do it when the kid (turned into kids) got older. In 2008, knowing that we were moving to Colorado, we decided to go and spectate the Madison IM. After watching it, we were more excited than ever and it was then we put a year on it-- 2012. It was the year both boys would be in school and we would have more time to train. However, when we got out to Colorado, the school systems were a little different and we realized with both kids in 5-day, full-day pre-school, THIS may be the time to train.

So, Spring of 2009 we set a race schedule that included 3 triathlons with the final triathlon being a half Ironman distance in August. If we finished that successfully, and feeling good about it, we would sign up for Wisconsin IM 2010.

We had a great, self-coached season this past summer. Some ups, some downs. LOADS of training. Tons of new experiences. We tried to integrate ourselves with other triathletes and learn as much as we could along the way. And, as a result, we did finish our halves in GREAT times (for us). So... onto Wisconsin the next month for volunteering, spectating and sign-up.

So here we are. $1100 in the hole with two pieces of paper confirming that we are crazy and about to have the most athletically challenging year of our lives thus far. Scared? Yes. Anxious? You bet. Excited? YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE!!!!